


Car Accident

by Backne



Category: Victorious
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Oral, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 01:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backne/pseuds/Backne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after graduation, Beck and Jade are over, and she's falling apart. On the verge of suicide, she winds up in a mild a car accident, only to be recognized on the side of the road by the last person she wants to see. One thing leads to another when Jade's secret remedy to the pain is uncovered, which leads to a rather unique predicament between frenemies. Self-harm</p>
            </blockquote>





	Car Accident

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or any of the characters featured in the show. I make no money off of this story.

\--

Tears stung her eyes painfully as she revved up the gas, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight the skin stretched over her knuckles had turned white. 'Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck-' Her internal mantra was cut short as she realized the light had turned red in front of her, the cars on the other side of the intersection starting to lurch forward, and she laughed at herself aloud, deciding to go through anyway. She was going to die when she got home, so what did it matter if she died in a car accident on the way? Even though she had more than enough time to stop, she slammed her foot down and sped through, jaw clenched in anger as cars screeched to a halt on either side. Her heart pumped adrenaline through her veins as she passed through the light, her shiny little car pulling through unscathed. She scoffed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Unbelievable.

"Today must be my lucky day." She snorted, her mind skipping back to the party, Beck's strong, tan arms wrapped around that stupid little skank, leaning down to kiss her. Her stomach churned, remembering the way their lips touched, so gentle and sweet, in a way he hadn't kissed Jade since they first started dating all those years ago. And fuck, as much as she hated to admit it, it was her fault they had broken up. It was her stupid, confused feelings for Vega that had led up to the final straw, when Beck just couldn't handle her anymore. She hated Tori for it, but for once, she actually hated herself more.

Beck was perfect. Beck was handsome and kind and talented. He was her everything, her entire life, until Tori showed up. Jealousy had turned her life upside down from day one, feeling threatened by the other girl's charms, feeling for sure she'd lose Beck to her if she didn't fight for her right to him. And then somehow along the road that jealousy had turned itself around, fury bubbling up in her gut when anyone touched Vega, feeling as though she had some claim to her as well as her boyfriend. That jealousy grew and grew until it drove a wedge between her and Beck so wide that it couldn't be patched, they're kisses growing cold and unfeeling, touches and words void of even the most basic emotion. And Vega went on about her life, rather unaffected aside from an occasional sidelong glance and a concerned exchange between her and Beck, which just pissed her off even more.

At one point, Tori tried to talk to Jade, to see if she could help things along and help then regain their "spark". But she couldn't because she had no idea she was the primary cause of their "lack of spark", and how could Jade even begin to explain that? I love Beck, but I have these strange urges to pin you against and wall and fuck you senseless during class. She couldn't decide if that was all she wanted, or if it was something more. It was so rare she felt anything for anyone, ever, aside from anger or jealousy. She cared for Beck, she knew that much. Why else would she have been jealous when other girls looked at him? But she felt that way all the time with Tori, always threatened, always uptight. Jab, jab, jab, snarky remark, insult, another jab, that was all she could do to keep the other girl at bay, because if she let her in for even a second, Jade West would be over. But then wasn't she already?

It was a week after graduation when Beck pulled her aside and sat her down in his stupid little mobile home, his face unreadable, not saying a word for several minutes. She made some bitchy remark about needing to clean his place up when he finally spoke. "It's over, Jade." At first she had laughed, because she couldn't really believe he was breaking up with her. After all that they had gone through after they broke up on that stupid game show and got back together again, she didn't think they'd ever split up, even if things had gone cold. Apparently she was very, very wrong.

It was a week later that she got back into a bad habit she thought she'd broken back in middle school. It started with her favorite pair of scissors, a sudden curiosity to see how hard she'd need to press down on the blade before it pierced the skin of her lower left thigh. Turns out quite a bit of pressure, considering the blades were rather dull. From there, the habit took off and became the only thing that could bring her relief from the increasing loneliness, anger and any other emotion she somehow managed to feel. She was all of sudden overwhelmed with a whole new, painful spectrum of emotions to deal with and no Beck to fall back on.

It went from a single cut a day, to three or four a day, then five or six, to a new mark for even the smallest amount of pain. She couldn't stop thinking of Tori or Beck, what they were doing, what they could be thinking, who they could be with, or if they were together. That thought burned her more than anything, red hot and painful. It made her crazy with anger just thinking about it. Once it even escalated to the word "STUPID" carved into her left bicep, imagining the two of them kissing one another. It wasn't long before her arms and legs were all cut up, the marks varying in deepness and length from the short and shallow to the long and deep that took forever to close up. And that was given she could quell the urge to pick the scabs away, just to watch the blood ooze out, vivid red against porcelain skin, growing cool as it ran along her skin. It was a real mystery that through all of her inner turmoil, she hadn't cried even once, her eyes dry as the Saharan desert, no matter how many times she scored her skin.

She struggled daily with the thought of who she wanted more, Tori or Beck. So many new things would present themselves if she went to Tori, and she hated change. She would inevitably be rejected, and she couldn't handle that. And what if it did work? All their friends would be shocked, possibly even avoid them. Beck would inevitably find out and he would hate her. Jade would be even more jealous and insecure over Tori than she'd ever been with Beck, having to compete with girls and guys for her attention. They'd break up before they even passed the first week mark, she just knew it. And getting Beck back was impossible now. She'd been thinking about it seriously, coming up with all these plans to show him she still cared, when she had found herself at that club, when she had seen Beck kissing that girl…

She bit her lip hard as she thought about it, failing to notice the car in front of her had come to a full stop in front of her. She barely had time to react when she finally noticed it, her reflexes kicking in as she slammed on her breaks, tires screeching as she tried to stop. With a loud crash, the front end of her car collided with the other car's bumper, her airbags deploying as her body was jolted forward. She blinked furiously, coughing as she realized there was something thick and hazy in the air, and then she was struggling with the driver's side door for a few frantic seconds trying to get it open. She stumbled out into the street, coughing furiously as she walked around the car, fiberglass crunching under her shoes, her eyes widening in shock as she looked at the now crumpled front end of the car. She raised one hand to her head, when suddenly a man got out of the car, yelling at her.

"Didn't you see me stop? What's wrong with you!? Are you drunk? Are you high?" She looked up at him, about to blow her top when he simply walked away, whipping out his phone and dialing furiously. "Yeah, I was just in an accident and…."

She looked back to her car, which was now totaled. She had a headache, but when she reached up to touch her face there was no blood or bruises from what she could tell. Her arms and legs felt fine, nothing seeming to be broken, although her body felt as though it were vibrating from all the adrenaline. And then it hit her that she was going to have to call one of her parents to come get her, and then the insurance, and… She groaned, bringing one hand to her face and looking back to the man, who was now dialing someone else.

"I've got the cops and paramedics coming. You better hope you sober up because…" She rolled her eyes and walked away from him, toward the sidewalk and sat down on the curb. She wasn't even drunk today. She knew she should be calling her dad, or someone else, but she really didn't want to see anyone. For all she cared, she could walk home, but she knew that leaving before the police arrived was just a plain bad idea. So she waited, scowling at her car, when suddenly it began to rain. She sat there, the look on her face souring further as cold droplets of water seeped through her long sleeve shirt, making the fresher cuts on her arms sting, her hair soon dripping and sticking to her face as her make up smeared.

Flashing lights eventually arrived a little while later while she sat on the sidewalk shivering, arms wrapped around herself tightly. The officer who started interviewing her was nice enough to offer her an umbrella, but the fact that he kept getting her in the eyes with his flashlight was enough to make her want to rack him. Since she was over eighteen, she was allowed to get off the hook without being medically examined, which was a relief because there was no way she could roll up her sleeves without starting shit she really just didn't want to get into. And so she was finally left alone, watching as her car was being towed, still too stubborn to call someone when a car passed by, a familiar face in the driver's seat. She didn't have time to even cover her face before she was recognized. Letting loose a stream of curses, she started to walk away when the car pulled into a parking lot off to the right of the road, heading her off.

"Jade? Oh my god, Jade, were you in that accident? Are you alright?" It was Tori, her face pale and concerned as she ran out to her, wrapped up in a jacket, although her head was left exposed, drops of water sticking in her hair. Jade stood perfectly still as the other girl reached her, grabbing onto her shoulders and looking her over. "Are you hurt? You look terrible! Oh god, I'm so glad you're ok!" And then Vega hugged her. She fucking hugged Jade West.

Jade felt stinging pain as the other girl grabbed onto her, some of it originating from the raw protesting cuts all over her biceps, the rest coming from a place in her chest, as if her bloody little heart was going to be torn right out. She was rigid all over, her eyes wide as her face was pressed into Tori's neck, cheek against her shoulder. The girl's body was so warm and soft, and she couldn't remember that last time someone had even touched her intentionally, much less held her like this, so close and… intimate. She could smell the sweet perfume of soap on her skin, her throat so soft and warm against her forehead. And that was her undoing, because all of sudden she started crying and couldn't stop the flow of tears once that first one escaped. Tori was shocked when the umbrella fell to the ground and she felt arms encircle around her waist, holding onto her for dear life as Jade's body began to shake. A quiet, miserable sob reached her ears as the other girl pushed closer, hot wet tears soaking into her hair along with the rain, touching her neck. Vega's arms tightened around her in turn, one hand coming up to stroke her hair gently in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

"Hey, it's ok, everything's alright. At least you're ok. Don't worry about the car." Tori said gently, assuming the girl was upset about the accident. Jade didn't say anything for several moments, trying to stop the waterworks before she pulled away and let the other girl see her face. "Have you been checked out by the paramedics already?"

"Yeah." Jade lied as she pulled away, picking up the umbrella and wiping her eyes furiously as she fought to regain control of herself. "I've got everything worked out."

"Oh…Well, if your parents aren't coming to get you, I could give you a ride home…" Tori offered, her hand reaching out to touch the other girl's arm. Jade looked down at the hand with one raised eyebrow, a bit of her old self returning as Tori awkwardly dropped the appendage back to her side.

"They aren't." She said, and started heading toward the car. Tori blinked, then followed her, fumbling for her keys to unlock the door. Jade gave her an impatient look as she hopped inside, pressing the unlock button and letting her in. With that, the two buckled up, the radio playing softly as the car was put in reverse and they headed out.

"Do you want to stop by my house first? It's closer and you're soaking wet…" Tori observed, glancing over at her in the passenger's seat.

"Yeah, sure." Jade muttered, arms crossed as she stared out the window, watching rivulets of water streak the glass.

"So uh, what were you doing out so late?" Tori asked, trying to keep the conversation going. Jade turned her head sharply, eyes livid.

"Why were you out so late?" She snapped back. Tori blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden burst of defensiveness.

"I was coming home from work…" She muttered a little uncomfortably.

"Work…?" Jade echoed.

"Yeah. I need money, and I haven't landed any major roles yet so I've been working a part time job at a local restaurant." She replied, eyes on the road.

"What restaurant stays open this late? Where do you work, IHOP?" She snorted, and Tori remained quiet, a funny look on her face. She went quiet then, realizing she'd hit the nail on the head.

"I didn't know you drove." She said quietly, glancing over at Vega a few minutes later.

"My parents bought me the car a few months ago to help me get to and from work easier." She said, and they pulled into her driveway a few seconds later. Jade stayed quiet as she followed her to the front door and inside to her bedroom, her neck aching and her left shoulder sore. She watched quietly as the other girl rummaged through her closet, pulling out an old tee shirt and sweat pants before handing them to her.

"Do you uh, need a bra and panties?" She asked awkwardly.

"No, but I need a jacket. I'm cold. And my head hurts." She said, and Tori nodded, pulling out a hoodie.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No."

"Then I'll go get you something for your headache and a towel for your hair." She closed the door behind her, and Jade began undressing, grimacing as the wet material rubbed painfully against her cuts, dragging along her flesh as it tried to stick to her. It took her a good minute or so just to take off her shirt, followed by her pants, which were just as bad if not worse considering they were rather tight and made of denim. Just as she was reaching for the dry shirt, the bedroom door opened and Tori walked through carrying the towel and a bottle of medicine.

"I'm so sorry, I thought you would be done, I- Oh god, Jade..." She stopped babbling then, her eyes taking in the mess of new scars and fresh marks. She made to step toward her when Jade found her voice, throwing her wet shirt at her.

"What the fuck!? Get out!" She cried, grabbing the tee shirt and struggling to get it on as Tori scrambled to leave, shutting the door quickly. Her heart raced as she pulled on the sweats and hoody, eyes wide as she realized she'd been caught. What would Tori say? Would she tell her parents? Would she tell Beck? What was she thinking? That she was weak and stupid and immature and- No, she'd threaten Tori. She'd threaten her with something she loved, and they'd never speak of it again and… There was a soft knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Jade stormed to the door, yanking it open.

"Take me home right now!" She snapped, making Tori flinch and recoil.

"Keep your voice down, my family is trying to sleep."

"Take. Me. Home. Now." She hissed furiously, grabbing the front of Tori's jacket.

"No. We need to talk." She said, shocking Jade as she unraveled the other girl's grip on her clothes. Jade blinked, and in her shock, allowed herself to be ushered back into Vega's bedroom. "What… why would you even…?" Tori shook her head, pushing her damp hair back behind one ear as she set the towel and bottle she had been holding down on her bed. Jade was very quiet, her face uncharacteristically flushed as her chest rose and fell rapidly.

"Why would you do that to yourself? You're one of the most confident people I know. The Jade I thought I knew would never have done that to herself. Is this because of the break up?"

"No!" Jade snapped reflexively, and realized in her haste she had just made the true answer evident. Tori sighed, making her feel humiliated.

"I know you cared about him a lot but… You can't just do that to yourself. It's unhealthy. Take off that jacket, let me see how bad it is." She gestured for Jade to take off the hoody, her expression getting angrier by the second.

"No!" She said again.

"Yes!"

"I said no, Vega, now back off!"

"Take it OFF!" Tori snapped, grabbing ahold of the jacket and trying to pull it off, exposing Jade's stomach in the process.

"Fine!" Jade hissed furiously, yanking off the jacket and exposing her forearms. Tori looked down at them, a scowl on her face as she shook her head, bringing her hand up to her mouth and biting the knuckle of her index finger.

"You could have killed yourself if you cut too deep… You could have bled to death! Do you know what it'd do you me if I lost you? What it'd do to him? Or Cat, Andre and Robbie? Your parents? How could you be so selfish?" She practically yelled, her eyes suddenly fierce as she stared at Jade, obviously expecting an answer. 'Do you even know what it'd do to me if I lost you?' The words echoed around in her skull like a child's voice in a deep, dark cavern.

"What would it do to you?" Jade asked, her eyes softening as she tried to understand..

"I…" She began, when she stopped, blinking several times. She heaved a heavy sigh, rubbing her tired brown eyes. "I would be devastated."

"Why?" Jade asked, her voice so quiet Tori could barely hear her.

"Why? You really need to ask? You're my friend, Jade. I care about you a lot. I want you to be alive and happy and I want to be able to go to the movie theater with you one day and see you up on that big screen next me. Why do you think I've been calling you so much these last couple of weeks, or have you even been checking your phone? I've been trying to get ahold of you because I miss you and want to hang out with you. The whole reason I left you alone for so long was because I figured you needed time to get over the whole break up thing. I guess I should've just drove over to your house and made sure you were alright, considering this," She gestured to Jade's hidden arms and legs, "is what's been going on."

Jade was staring at her with this odd, seemingly vacant look on her face. She didn't say a single word for what seemed like forever. Tori was about to open her mouth again, frustrated that she wasn't responding, when out of nowhere she found herself backed up against the door, a warm, soft body pushing against hers as a soft pair of lips covered her own. Her eyes went wide a moment before squeezing shut, her hands coming up and pushing Jade's shoulders, effectively breaking the kiss. The two of them stared at one another for what seemed like forever, Tori's expression changing from confused to angry, sad and then confused again.

"Wha... Why did you… Did you really just kiss me?" She asked in disbelief, staring at Jade in utter shock.

"You tell me, Vega. Did I?" She asked, her eyes hardening. Tori shook her head from side to side.

"Fine. Just fine. You want to go home that badly, I'll just take you. C'mon." She turned around to open the door when Jade caught her wrist.

"I don't want to go home." Jade said. Tori turned to face her, eyebrows knitting together in the saddest look of confusion humanly possible. "Please…" Jade added, shocking her further.

"Well then where do you want to go?" She asked in mild exasperation, her face looking impossibly tired.

"I want to stay here. With you." She hadn't thought she'd ever hear those words come out of Jade West's mouth in a million years, or ever see her look so vulnerable as she did right then. So human, and unguarded. It was totally unnatural, like a purple hippo on a unicycle while juggling chainsaws. It was so un-Jade.

"Ok." Her voice sounded a little hoarse even to her own ears. "Ugh, I'm so tired." She said, reaching up and rubbing her eyes again with her free hand. Jade let go of her, suddenly feeling embarrassed, causing Tori to look down, her eyes lingering on the cuts uncomfortably long.

"Do you want me to set up a bed for you on the couch, or the floor?" She asked, and the sudden look of indignation on Jade's face was almost comical. "Look, I'm tired. I am not going to give up my bed. So if you wanna bed to sleep in, we're gonna have to share mine." She said with some finality.

"Fine." Jade said, crossing her arms.

"Well I'm not gonna sleep in my uniform." She muttered, walking over to her closet and getting a pair of clothes out. She looked back at Jade expectantly, who met her stare, letting her know she wasn't going to leave the room. "Fine." Tori grumbled, taking off her jacket and dropping it to the floor before walking off to change somewhere else.

As she opened the bathroom door and flipped on the light, she found a very tired, very stressed but familiar face looking back at her in the mirror. She groaned quietly, realizing was starting to get bags under her eyes. If she kept working nightshifts like this, she was either going to quit or kill her social life, because she couldn't keep up with both and get the proper amount of rest too. She began undressing herself a second later, pulling her shirt over her head and letting it fall to the floor, followed by her shoes and slacks. She paused for a moment when she was about to unhook her bra, wondering if she should keep it on since she was sharing her bed with Jade, then snorted and shook her head. If Jade was going to be so stubborn, she could deal with it if it bothered her.

As she changed her panties and put on her pajama pants, she found herself thinking about the kiss, shaking her head in annoyance. That was low, even for Jade, kissing her just to get out of talking. Or was that really why…? She shook her head again. Yes, yes it was. She knew Jade didn't roll that way. She would never have kissed her because she had feelings for her. Never. With a yawn, she started brushing her teeth when there was a knock on the door. When she opened it Jade walked right in, jacket back on again with the towel wrapped around her head like a turban, pushing past her to look around the counter, then in her medicine cabinet.

"Can I help you?" Tori asked through a mouthful of foaming toothpaste, one eyebrow raised.

"Do you have an extra toothbrush I could use?" She asked, rummaging through the contents of the cabinet before pulling out a bottle of mouthwash and inspecting it carefully.

"No… well, you could use mine I guess…" She muttered, but Jade didn't seem to hear her and she didn't really fancy the idea of sharing anyways. Pulling back her hair, she spit in the sink. "No, you'll just have to use mouthwash and call it good." With that, she continued brush as Jade glared at her, which she ignored. Jade must've used a cup of mouthwash after all the capfuls she used before she was finally satisfied, finally leaving Tori to finish brushing her teeth in solitude. When she was done, she spat in the sink one last time, rinsing her toothbrush and mouth before walking off in the direction of her bedroom.

Jade was already in bed, hoody on the floor with Tori's jacket, turned away from her. Taking in a deep breath, she shut the door behind her and turned off the lights, walking across the room feet curled as to prevent stubbing her toes. Once she reached the bed, she set one knee on the edge and climbed up, lying down with her back facing Jade as she slipped under the blankets. She lay there with her eyes wide open for a quite a while, staring hard at the door, dim light streaming in from the street lamps outside when a stirring sound behind her caught her attention, signifying Jade was rolling over. It was followed by another ruffle sheets when she felt Jade moving closer, her warmth pressing into her from behind, soft breasts pushing into her back, so that Tori knew she wasn't the only one who had taken her bra off. A moment later, one arm came up to rest around her waist, her face pushing into Tori's hair until she could feel warm breath against the nape of her neck. Tori closed her eyes tightly, biting the inside of her cheek as she struggled with herself internally about what to do. Did this mean Jade felt something for her, or was she just messing with her head?

Jade flinched and kept her eyes closed when she felt the body in front of her pull away and get up, cursing herself mentally for trying again. She half considered getting up and walking out of the room, when she felt the bed shift under her, clothes and blankets rustling as a body climbing over her own.

"Open your eyes." Tori whispered, and she did, finding herself looking straight up into chocolate irises. They stared at each other for a moment, some strange exchange occurring between them when Tori leaned down, kissing Jade's lips carefully, light as a feather. Jade let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and Tori kissed her a little firmer, one hand coming up to stroke her cheek lightly. One of Jade's hands came up to touch her face too, while the other touched her side, pushing her shirt up just slightly to touch the skin underneath. Tori's entire body tingled, shocked when Jade lifted her head higher, her tongue brushing over Tori's bottom lip. And from there, Tori's reign of brief dominance was over and so began Jade's.

Before she could even comprehend what was happening, Jade's tongue was in her mouth, her shirt pulled up just beneath her breasts as the goth girl's fingers tangled in her hair. She couldn't help but moan and shiver as the fingernails of Jade's other hand scratched up her sides and back in a way that made her arch like a cat, her nipples hardening to the point of pain when the goth bit her bottom lip. The hand on her side moved higher and higher, moving underneath her to touch her ribs and then cup her right breast. Tori gasped, so shocked she almost pulled away, only to whimper when Jade pinched her nipple, rolling it between her fingers carefully.

"Ahh, J-Jade, I don't know if this is a good idea—Oh!" She gasped when the other girl pinched her nipple again.

"Shut up." She muttered, pulling her head back down to kiss her again, tongue finding its way back into the warmth of Tori's mouth. Just as she relaxed again, she suddenly found herself being flipped over, Jade on top of her, her breath labored as she leaned back in again. She whimpered, feeling herself getting more turned on than she'd ever felt before, wondering when Jade was going to pull back, if at all. She had never touched another girl before, or even a guy for the most part, and she had no idea what the hell to expect or even what to do, although Jade seemed to at least have that part covered. She was left gasping for breath when the other girl finally broke yet another kiss, pushing her shirt back up again before her lips descended on her exposed chest. The good little virgin in her wanted to protest, say something that would stop Jade's swift moving advances, but another stronger part of her that had longed for this in secret screamed for it to continue, for the goth to do things to her she had never felt before or imagined possible.

"Oooh…" Jade's hot lips found one painfully stiff nipple, her teeth nipping at the pebbled tip before her warm, wet tongue soothed the pain away, lapping carefully before flicking it back and forth. Jade herself had never had sex with another girl, and only one guy before Beck. She had kissed a girl once before, just to see what it was like, but that was it. A very small part of her was worried she wouldn't be any good at it, although Tori was a virgin, and knowing that she was the first to ever touch the girl made a much stronger, more dominant part of her hunger for her more than ever to corrupt that delicious innocence. She hadn't felt so alive in a long time, if ever, and she didn't want that feeling to ever go away. The realization that Tori wasn't rejecting her, and allowing Jade to touch her that way was a high she couldn't have begun to fathom previously, and she loved it.

Jade moaned around the nipple she was teasing when she felt Tori's hand slide into her hair, stroking and combing her fingers through it carefully. She continued sucking carefully, nipping it again just to make Tori hiss before she released it, peppering her chest with kisses and licks before moving to the other nipple. Happening to open her eyes, Tori watched as Jade's tongue slid over her other nipple, green blue eyes glancing up and meeting her own, the look in those irises enough to cause a sudden increase of wetness to pool between her legs, making her shift her hips and breathe just a bit harder. As if reminded of the fact Tori had a lower half, one of Jade's hands came up to rest on the inside of her left thigh, causing Tori to try and close her legs. But Jade wasn't having it, her hand slipping in between them and stopping the girl dead in her tracks, drawing a little mewl from between her lips as she began to rub her firmly through the flannel of her pajamas. Jade exhaled a little shakily, able to feel the moist heat emanating from her even through the clothing separating their flesh.

"Jade, wait." Tori gasped, her voice breathless. Jade let out a frustrated growl, looking up at her in annoyance. She didn't want to stop, and if that was what Tori was going to ask she didn't know if she could. "You're my first, and I-I, well-"

"I know." Jade interrupted, and when Tori met her eyes again she felt like she was going to melt into a puddle under the other girl's predatory gaze. And the hand that had been petting her previously was in her pants, cupping her through her cotton panties, rubbing her middle finger between her lower lips, a wet stain all along her slit. Jade's own lower half was throbbing incessantly with need, begging for attention, but she needed to touch Tori first, to take her before anyone else ever could. She could feel the muscles in her thighs trembling on either side of her hand, felt them tense when she pushed the panties aside and slid one finger into Tori's tight entrance.

She hissed at the sudden pain of intrusion, shifting uncomfortably as Jade moved her finger a little. It wasn't comfortable, in fact it was much less pleasurable that the previous touches, and it took a few moments for her to get used to the sensation and the pain to lessen. Jade frowned in displeasure at the response, having forgotten how painful a girl's first penetration could be, and it made her feel a tad guilty, so she came up with another plan of approach. Tori let out a yelp when she felt her pants being yanked down, right along with her rather wet cotton panties, making her gasp and sit up as cold air washed over her, only to be pushed back down.

"Relax." Jade said, pulling her legs apart and settling herself between them. She knew one thing that always felt good, and that she herself was rather partial too when it came to sex. She moved her face closer to Tori's wet sex, gazing at soft looking folds that were begging for her attention, and she found herself wanting nothing more than the to taste her and feel those hips move against her mouth. She wondered what sort of noises the girl would make, and so she leaned forward, deciding she'd find out.

"Wait, Jade, don't—Oh, God…" She gasped for the second time that night, although this time is was a much happier exclamation as a very warm, wet tongue that had early been teasing her nipples now parted her wet folds, finding the swollen jewel in between. Despite never having done such a thing before, her tongue was rather adept as it circled around the girl's swollen nub, exploring and experimenting, stroking up and down, then circling again before her lips wrapped around it, sucking carefully. She had never realized how wet a girl could actually get until then, or how warm it was, or how hard a clitoris could get during sex as it strained against her tongue. Tori, meanwhile, was left squirming around on the bed, moaning and whimpering as her hands frantically searched for something to hold onto, fidgeting with the sheets when Jade paused, one hand fetching hers and bringing it up to her head. Whimpering and trembling all over, Tori threaded her fingers into the goth's thick hair, stroking and scratching and gripping as her mouth started moving again.

"Oh Jade…" She panted, her voice going up an octave or two higher than normal. "Uuuuuugh…" Jade's tongue danced around her pearl, teasing lower to her entrance again. Her tongue was much softer and warmer and more pleasant than her fingers had been as it dipped partially inside her. It teased her, pushing inside and then retreating, then teasing around her clitoris again without touching it. Jade found herself wanting Tori to actually voice what she wanted, and didn't care how long she'd have to stay down there in order to hear it. So she continued teasing her, occasionally scraping her tongue over the swollen bud to make her hips curl upward in expectance just to deny her the sensation, until Tori just couldn't stand it anymore.

"Jade, please." She whined, forcing her eyes to open and meet the other girl's, her cheeks turning dark red as she gazed down at her face, the lower half hidden between her thighs. She blinked up at her in mock innocence, lowering her head and licking her from top to bottom before coming up to speak while Tori quivered from head to toe.

"Please what?" She asked, licking Tori's taste from her lips. The girl stared at her for a few seconds, rendered speechless, hoping that Jade would figure it out and continue when she realized what she was waiting for. "Y-You don't really want me to say it, do you?" She squeaked, eyes wide. Jade smirked up at her wickedly, eyelids lowering.

"You know I do." She replied, lowering her mouth to lick her again, her tongue teasing the swollen bud lightly, making Tori lift her hips only to be disappointed. She closed her eyes tight, pursing her lips. For the love of God, it was her first time and Jade was going to make her beg for it?

"Please don't make me…" She groaned. Another flick to her clit.

"I won't if you don't want me to make you cum." Tori flinched at the vulgar word, her sex throbbing at the thought despite herself. She took a deep breathe, hoping that her family was in the deepest sleep of their lives.

"I-I want you to… to…" She struggled to finish the sentence, swallowing hard.

"To what?" Jade breathed, warm breath washing over damp curls. Tori shivered.

"I want you to make me c-cum…" She managed, the last word spoken so softly Jade could barely hear her. Nonetheless she smiled, narrowing her eyes to slits.

"How do you want me to make you cum?" She asked, and Tori's eyes flew open in disbelief.

"Seriously? I just said that and you want me to… to give details!?" She hissed furiously.

"Yes." Jade said simply, lowering her mouth to her again, swirling her tongue around her clit before licking it fully, scraping her tongue over in a deliciously slow manner before pulling away again, smiling.

"I want you to lick me until I cum!" Tori hissed sharply, the words sticking together as her hands reached down to Jade's head, burying themselves in her hair. Chuckling slightly, Jade rewarded her for her embarrassment, sucking her clit softly before realizing just how close Tori really was from all her teasing. Flicking her tongue back a forth a few times, she lapped at the straining bundle of nerves as Tori's hands tightened in her hair, her hips bucking slightly as she practically sobbed underneath her, making high pitched whining sounds as she finally came. "Jade!"

When she finally came down from the most intense sensation of her life, Tori blinked her eyes furiously, trying to wrap her brain around what had just happened when Jade was on top of her again, without a shirt, kissing her all over. She found herself holding on to her tightly, welcoming her mouth as it settled over hers again despite the fact she had just been using it on a previously unmentionable part of her body. Jade's tongue aggressively fought its way inside her mouth, dominating her own as she swallowed the girl's heady moan, taking one of her hands and guiding it to her chest. Tori paused for a split second before cupping Jade's breast in her palm, squeezing lightly as her index finger rubbed over the tip of her nipple back and forth. She was rewarded with a groan, low and rich, empowering her ever so slightly to squeeze harder, attempting to knead it. She had allowed a boyfriend to touch her chest once, a long time ago, and she vaguely remembered what had felt good and what hadn't.

Jade broke the kiss a moment later, breathing heavily as Tori continued massaging her chest, nipping her bottom lip as she brushed her finger over her nipple. Spreading her legs a little wider, she lowered her clothed hips to Tori's bare ones and ground herself against her, effectively making the girl under her cry out as she herself trembled. Reaching her other hand up to fondle the other breast, Jade leaned into her touch, eyes closed as Tori did her best to ignore the cuts on her arms and focus on the present task of pleasing the other girl. Chewing her lip, she swiped her thumbs over the girl's nipples, pinching very carefully and rolling them between her fingers when she remembered how good it had felt to have Jade use her mouth on her own chest. Blue green eyes opened in disappointment when she felt warm hands drop away, looking at the other girl expectantly as she scooted back and out from under her. Carefully, she pushed Jade backward.

"L-lay back… please." She said, her voice cracking a little as she tried to appear confident in what she was doing. Giving was already much more intimidating than receiving, and that had been plenty daunting in its own. Jade paused for a moment before complying, repositioning herself to lie on her back. She watched at Tori climbed over her, her face obviously frightened as she bent down to kiss her, a quick but gentle peck.

"Don't look so terrified, its sex, not a horror show." She said, the closest she could come to comforting.

"At least I know what's expected at a horror show." Tori muttered, looking away when Jade caught her chin between her index finger and thumb.

"When you touch me, don't think about it. Just touch, and feel. None of that analytical crap. Thinking ruins it." She advised, pulling her head back down to kiss her fully. Their lips moved against one another, Tori nibbling her bottom lip just slightly, licking the seam in between and coaxing the other girl's mouth open just before pulling away. Jade didn't have time to get annoyed before the girl's lips were on her neck, kissing softly, making her moan and tilt her head back. A little known fact was that Jade West had an incredibly sensitive throat, and given the fact that she had a bit of a thing for blood and vampires, she was partial to biting.

"Bite down." She instructed, surprising Tori. She paused for a moment, and Jade was about to repeat herself when she felt teeth grip her flesh, making her groan and grab Tori's back, scratching her a little. "Harder." She complied, but not by much. "Harder." Jade repeated, digging her fingernails into the other girl's skin, effectively spurring her on, biting hard enough to bruise. After a moment she released the throbbing bit of flesh, licking at it carefully with her tongue in a sweet manner that Jade was unaccustomed too before she began sucking on it lightly. She sighed, kneading Tori's sides as she peppered kisses over her shoulders, down to her collarbones, the top of her left breast and finally over her nipple. The way her tongue slipped out, touching it almost tentatively made her open her eyes again, looking down to watch Vega, whose eyelids were closed delicately as she lapped at the tip of her breast.

When her warm mouth finally closed over it, Jade's back arched as she pushed her chest upward, moaning. Tori sucked a little harder, rewarding her with yet another rich sound, one hand coming up to stroke her hair. After several moments, she released it and moved to the other one, lapping at it more confidently that the one before, even teasing it with her teeth before sucking on it. Meanwhile, her hand that was resting next to Jade came up to cup her hip and run a fingertip over the waistband, her finger dipping inside and brushing over the smooth skin right above the dark curls between Jade's legs. Jade continued stroking Tori's hair as she continued to lavish her chest in careful yet passionate attention, her hips lifting up to encourage the other girl to slip her hand further inside.

In truth, Jade was about to go out of her mind with lust, having been sexually neglected for so long. It had been so long since she had been touched, and after bringing Tori her first orgasm, she was aching with need for her own. So when her hand worked its way inside the sweats she was wearing, she found herself panting for breath like a depraved dog, Tori's fingers exploring her curls before reaching the apex of her sex, which was extremely wet. One finger explored a little lower, finding Jade's swollen clit, and she began to rub it very, very carefully, frustrating the other girl immensely.

"For God's sake, harder. I'm not made of glass!" Jade growled, pressing her hips upward, licking her lips in anticipation.

"I just don't want to hurt you." Tori mumbled defensively.

"You won't." She answered, and with that Tori began rubbing more firmly, rubbing in a circular motion in which she had used on those rare occasions she touched herself. Jade let out a low moan at this, more than enough encouragement that she indeed was touching her correctly, and so she moved her hand a little faster when she got the idea to move her hand lower, slipping one long finger inside Jade's entrance, causing her to let out a low moan and push her hips into her hand. She bit her lip hard as the Tori began pumping her finger in and out of her, slow at first, but picking up the pace quickly.

"Oooh… Ahhhhh… Ah!" She hissed, her hips bucking. "Fuck, more." She panted, and it took the other girl a few seconds to realize she meant more fingers. She added another digit, marveling at the new sensation of having her fingers inside of Jade. She would never have thought she'd be touching another girl so intimately before, much less this one. It was so warm and wet and soft, like liquid silk, fine muscles gripping at the digits as Jade moaned and gasped, the look on her face irresistibly sexy as fine eyebrows knitted together, biting her lower lips as her hips undulated off the bed, rocking forward in time with Tori's short thrusts. She was a little baffled at how something she had experienced as painful could bring the other girl so much pleasure, but she wasn't complaining.

"Curl your fingers." Jade panted, confusing her.

"What?"

"Just curl your damn fingers!" She said, her voice too breathy to effectively convey her urgency. Tori obeyed nonetheless, curling her fingers awkwardly inside her. She repeated the motion a few times when she felt something, different from the rest, a small ridged area inside. As soon as she touched it, Jade's eyes flashed open, a keening moan drawn from the deepest recess of her chest as her eyelids fluttered closed agains. Tori touched it again, then again, before thrusting her fingers into it, causing Jade to lift her hips up, growing increasingly louder, but she didn't care.

"Yesssss, just like that, oh God, oh Gooooooood…." She groaned, throwing her head back, hips bucking. "I'm so fucking close, Tori…" She gasped, her voice a shrill whine. Tori found she was ensnared, watching in utter fascination as her own sex throbbed, thrusting her fingers faster against the swollen place inside Jade. Muscles were tightening around her fingers the more Jade cried out , almost as though trying to push them out, Jade's hands clawing at her bed sheets when one hand flew up to her mouth, stifling a scream as she finally flew over the edge, her body going impossibly rigid for a few seconds before collapsing back on the bed.

"Did you just... did you… orgasm?" Tori asked after several moments, withdrawing her fingers from within the other girl, who blinked blearily, as if having forgotten she was there. She was still gasping for breath, so winded she couldn't even muster a snarky remark, so instead she nodded.

"Wow." Tori breathed in amazement, looking down at her wet hand, making the other girl blush in spite herself.

"What?" She snapped, looking from her hand to the other girl's face.

"Nothing." Tori murmured. "I uh, I'm going to go wash my hands." And with that she stood up, pulling her shirt back in place and putting her pants back on, leaving the room for a few minutes. She walked on stiff legs, her crotch uncomfortably wet. When she came back, Jade was dressed again too, although she was facing the door this time, waiting. The door closed with a soft click, and then the bed shifted as Tori climbed up into it, nestling down under the covers and meeting the other girl's intense gaze.

"So what happens now?" She asked quietly.

"I don't know." Jade answered. Tori swallowed, licking her lips and averting her gaze briefly, reaching under the blankets and taking Jade's hand, pulling her arm up out from under the sheets. She inspected her flesh in the dim light, running her clean fingers feather light over the collection of scabs and uneven skin. Jade's throat tightened with an unvoiced question when dark eyes looked up again.

"I don't think any less of you." Tori said, answering her. Jade wanted to say something snippy to quell the feelings welling up inside her, to make the other girl feel stupid for even suggesting the goth might care about what she thought about her. But she couldn't bring herself to even open her mouth, exhaling shakily as the other girl pressed a soft kiss over one of the more gruesome cuts on near her wrist. "Jade… I don't want this to be something we both bury in the past and pretend never happened. I care about you. I've cared for a while now, as… more than a friend." The last bit stuck in her throat a little, coming out weak.

"I don't want that either." Tori allowed herself the tiniest smile and a little laugh.

"We agree on something. That's rare." She chuckled lightly, and the other girl smiled a little in return. "Hey wait, I have a question."

"What?"

"How did you know you were my first?" Tori asked, looking over at her curiously. Jade actually laughed out loud.

"It doesn't take a genius to know you're a prude, Vega." She sneered.

"Hey!" She snapped, her lips curving downward in a little pout.

"Would you rather me call you a slut?"

"Well, no…"

"Then don't complain." Silence. "Now I have a question."

"What?"

"Did Beck ever try to… come onto you after, well, you know what?" Her voice sounded strained, even to her own ears. Tori was quiet for a moment.

"He did ask me out on a date once, about two weeks after it was officially over between you two. But I told him no."

"Why?" She couldn't effectively keep the surprise out of her voice.

"I couldn't do that to you. Even if you were over him, I couldn't date him and look you in the eye again. It's just not right to date a friend's ex."

"…was he mad?"

"At first, but then he got over it. I think he thought about it and realized I was right." Tori said, her voice growing fainter. The two were silent for a while, Tori's eyelids drooping until they finally fluttered shut. Her breathing evened out a minute or so later, Jade continuing to study her face even as she slept. Reaching out, she tucked a stray lock of hair behind the girl's ear, brushing her cheek with the back of her hand before closing her own eyes and willing herself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I did my best to kinda stay in character despite the copious amounts of angst. Ironically, the day after I came up with this fic, I was involved in a car accident...


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